cfuw_shepherd (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cfuw_shepherd) wrote2006-11-02 07:18 pm
cfuw_shepherd) wrote2006-11-02 07:18 pm
[Evidence Locker]
As the attorney, Mr. Sexual, you will have access to all background data of the suspects. You are free to disperse this information as you see fit, and you may request that any suspects that you feel are 'safe' be included in this lock for discussion. Press 'L' to access menu features.
Name: Ruby Leafgreen
Occupation: Video Game Box and Clothes Designer
Gender: Female
Profile: Sister cartridge to Pearl Leafgreen, they both made their debut in Japan with their own personal clothing line and a small corner shop to display in. Sexy took a liking to their style and hire the two girls as a unit to design outfits for his video series "Sexy's Midnight Adventures in Banana Land." The two provided costumes for the entire production but to this date have not been paid.
Alibi: Ruby claims she wasn't responsible for any mishaps on the night of the murder, because she was busy helping 'innadress' the artist formerly known as Prince.
Name: Pearl Leafgreen
Gender: Female
Occupation: Video Game Box and Clothes Designer
Profile: Sister cartridge to Ruby Leafgreen, they both made their debut in Japan with their own personal clothing line and a small corner shop to display in. Sexy took a liking to their style and hire the two girls as a unit to design outfits for his video series "Sexy's Midnight Adventures in Banana Land." The two provided costumes for the entire production but to this date have not been paid.
Alibi: Pearl claims she wasn't responsible for any mishaps on the night of the murder, because she was busy helping 'innadress' the artist formerly recognized as Micheal Jackson.
Name: Ben Yiffed
Occupation: Former chauffer, now technically a hobo. Prefers geology researcher.
Gender: Male
Profile: Ben was rumoured to have been Sexy's former chauffer, but ran off to elope with Miss Otter. The two shared many happy years of marriage, but after Ben's dream of opening a 24 hour onsen in the ghettos of North Carolina flopped, he returned to the Shepherd's estate to reclaim his old job only to find his wife conversing with his employer in the backseat of a Limo. Details of this incident are unknown, but the two have since filed for a not-divorce.
Alibi: Ben claims he couldn't have killed Sexy on the night of the 31st because he was polishing his towels.
Name: Otter Bea Yiffed
Occupation: Former cop, now unemployed.
Gender: Interchangeable [EDIT November 2] Confirmed Female.
Profile: Otter Bea Yiffed formerly worked as an undercover porn star for the NYPD, during the time she formed a casual friendship with a friendly stripper, Sexy Shepherd, though she did not know who he was at the time. After marrying Ben Yiffed and learning of Sexy's identity, she became more acquainted with him and eventually tried to persuade Sexy to give Ben his job back. An argument involving "hitting up little boys" shortly followed. Details are unknown.
Alibi: Bea claims she couldn't have killed Sexy because she despite the divorce papers she was 'zz'ing Ben.
Name: Sassy Uke
Occupation: Professional ice skater for the STARS.
Gender: Male
Profile: Known for his aggressive yet gentle forms of training, Sexy briefly hired Sassy as a personal fitness trainer. The two bumped heads several times, sometimes three at once, and eventually Sassy was forced to quit. It was later discovered that Sexy had the ice skating pond in Sassy's home towned paved over to make way for a Dunkin Donuts.
Alibi:Sassy claims he was no where near Sexy on the night of the murder because he was preoccupied instructing himself to cease hitting himself.
Name: Fanny Boomers
Profession: Computer Technician
Gender: Female
Profile:Fanny was Sexy's former personal computer technician. After many years of being called in to show him how to use the 'refresh' button, the two became well acquainted. Fanny is rumored to have taught Sexy everything he knows about keys, tabs, and what parts go into which slots to turn the target on efficiently. Recently it was discovered that Fanny has decided to resign from her duties after many years of faithful on call service.
AlibiShe says had no hand in the murder and that the paper fans found on the premises were ones Sexy had stolen to use as... props. She claims to have been abruptly 'kidnapped' during the time of the murder.
Name: Mr. Bean McShortpun
Gender: Male
Occupation: Accountant
History: Bean was Sexy's accountant, whom Sexy hired to help him realize his dream of having a giant pool full of gold, just like Scrooge McDuck. Bean did what he could to explain to Sexy that it wasn't really physically possible, but somewhere in the process they fell in love. Unfortunately, Mr. McShortpun has a violently jealous personality, and can't stand the sight of Sexy with anyone else.
Alibi:McShortpun's testimony seems to state that he was busy inquiring whom is so miniscule a teller needs two monocles to locate said person in his cubicle on the night of the murder.
Name: Sheriff Marl Borrows
Gender: Cowboy
Occupation: A cowboy from the year 1880
History: Sexy borrowed a time machine from his cousin, Mad Scientist shepherd, in order to live his own real-life Bareback Mountain Adventure. Which is to say that he kidnapped Sheriff Marl Borrows and chained him up in the basement of one of his villas. Sheriff Marl Borrows eventually escaped, but he cannot return to his time period, and furthermore, he's never been able to walk normally since.
Alibi: Mr. Borrows claims to have been purchasing some boots made for walking and a plate of Texas barbeque wings at the time of the murder.
Name: Miss Rose Thorne
Gender: Female
Occupation: Professional Dominatrix
History: Sexy met Miss Thorne on a visit to her professional establishment, where they established a quick rapport and have been in consistent professional communication sense. However, Rose Thorne resents Sexy deeply, because he never, ever tips.
AlibiMiss Thorne claims to have been, quote, "enjoying the pleasurable benefits of raising man-eating honey suckle vines" during the day of the murder. Police have been to disturbed to investigate further
Name: Mrs. Subaru Forester
Gender: Female
Occupation: Housewife by day; moonlights in the superhero task team known as the "SUV Rangers"
History: Subaru and Hokuto are sisters, but they have not spoken since Subaru married a mild-mannered reporter who turned out to be the amazing superhero, SUV Red. Still, she lived on happily until Sexy ran over her husband with a tractor.
Name: Mrs. Hokuto Honda
Gender: Female
Occupation: CEO of an automobile manufacturing company which is pretty blatantly a cover for the yakuza
History: Hokuto and Subaru are sisters, but they had a falling-out due to Subaru's choice in husbands. She hired Sexy to kill Subaru's husband. Sexy, however, could not remember whether it was supposed to be Subaru's husband or hers, so he killed them both just to be safe.
Alibi: Both claim to have been visiting their husband's graves on the night of the murder, but thanks to Sexy screwing up the burial plans as an apology, Subaru's husband's grave ended up under the the tallest roller coaster in Six Flags while Hokuto's was located in the ball pin at Chuck E. Cheese's.
Name: Wyld Stallions
Gender: Female
Occupation: Washed-up Rock Starlet
History: Sexy and Wyld were once in a popular (though terrible) punk band together. One tour, she left the hotel room, and came back to find that everyone but Sexy had OD'd on cough syrup and antifreeze. When she confronted him, Sexy merely said, "Oops."
Alibi: Wyld claims to have been tipping cows on the night of the murder. TIPPING THEM HARD. HOOOO. Yes.
You will recieve more clues and evidence in the comments. Good luck.
Name: Ruby Leafgreen
Occupation: Video Game Box and Clothes Designer
Gender: Female
Profile: Sister cartridge to Pearl Leafgreen, they both made their debut in Japan with their own personal clothing line and a small corner shop to display in. Sexy took a liking to their style and hire the two girls as a unit to design outfits for his video series "Sexy's Midnight Adventures in Banana Land." The two provided costumes for the entire production but to this date have not been paid.
Alibi: Ruby claims she wasn't responsible for any mishaps on the night of the murder, because she was busy helping 'innadress' the artist formerly known as Prince.
Name: Pearl Leafgreen
Gender: Female
Occupation: Video Game Box and Clothes Designer
Profile: Sister cartridge to Ruby Leafgreen, they both made their debut in Japan with their own personal clothing line and a small corner shop to display in. Sexy took a liking to their style and hire the two girls as a unit to design outfits for his video series "Sexy's Midnight Adventures in Banana Land." The two provided costumes for the entire production but to this date have not been paid.
Alibi: Pearl claims she wasn't responsible for any mishaps on the night of the murder, because she was busy helping 'innadress' the artist formerly recognized as Micheal Jackson.
Name: Ben Yiffed
Occupation: Former chauffer, now technically a hobo. Prefers geology researcher.
Gender: Male
Profile: Ben was rumoured to have been Sexy's former chauffer, but ran off to elope with Miss Otter. The two shared many happy years of marriage, but after Ben's dream of opening a 24 hour onsen in the ghettos of North Carolina flopped, he returned to the Shepherd's estate to reclaim his old job only to find his wife conversing with his employer in the backseat of a Limo. Details of this incident are unknown, but the two have since filed for a not-divorce.
Alibi: Ben claims he couldn't have killed Sexy on the night of the 31st because he was polishing his towels.
Name: Otter Bea Yiffed
Occupation: Former cop, now unemployed.
Gender: Interchangeable [EDIT November 2] Confirmed Female.
Profile: Otter Bea Yiffed formerly worked as an undercover porn star for the NYPD, during the time she formed a casual friendship with a friendly stripper, Sexy Shepherd, though she did not know who he was at the time. After marrying Ben Yiffed and learning of Sexy's identity, she became more acquainted with him and eventually tried to persuade Sexy to give Ben his job back. An argument involving "hitting up little boys" shortly followed. Details are unknown.
Alibi: Bea claims she couldn't have killed Sexy because she despite the divorce papers she was 'zz'ing Ben.
Name: Sassy Uke
Occupation: Professional ice skater for the STARS.
Gender: Male
Profile: Known for his aggressive yet gentle forms of training, Sexy briefly hired Sassy as a personal fitness trainer. The two bumped heads several times, sometimes three at once, and eventually Sassy was forced to quit. It was later discovered that Sexy had the ice skating pond in Sassy's home towned paved over to make way for a Dunkin Donuts.
Alibi:Sassy claims he was no where near Sexy on the night of the murder because he was preoccupied instructing himself to cease hitting himself.
Name: Fanny Boomers
Profession: Computer Technician
Gender: Female
Profile:Fanny was Sexy's former personal computer technician. After many years of being called in to show him how to use the 'refresh' button, the two became well acquainted. Fanny is rumored to have taught Sexy everything he knows about keys, tabs, and what parts go into which slots to turn the target on efficiently. Recently it was discovered that Fanny has decided to resign from her duties after many years of faithful on call service.
AlibiShe says had no hand in the murder and that the paper fans found on the premises were ones Sexy had stolen to use as... props. She claims to have been abruptly 'kidnapped' during the time of the murder.
Name: Mr. Bean McShortpun
Gender: Male
Occupation: Accountant
History: Bean was Sexy's accountant, whom Sexy hired to help him realize his dream of having a giant pool full of gold, just like Scrooge McDuck. Bean did what he could to explain to Sexy that it wasn't really physically possible, but somewhere in the process they fell in love. Unfortunately, Mr. McShortpun has a violently jealous personality, and can't stand the sight of Sexy with anyone else.
Alibi:McShortpun's testimony seems to state that he was busy inquiring whom is so miniscule a teller needs two monocles to locate said person in his cubicle on the night of the murder.
Name: Sheriff Marl Borrows
Gender: Cowboy
Occupation: A cowboy from the year 1880
History: Sexy borrowed a time machine from his cousin, Mad Scientist shepherd, in order to live his own real-life Bareback Mountain Adventure. Which is to say that he kidnapped Sheriff Marl Borrows and chained him up in the basement of one of his villas. Sheriff Marl Borrows eventually escaped, but he cannot return to his time period, and furthermore, he's never been able to walk normally since.
Alibi: Mr. Borrows claims to have been purchasing some boots made for walking and a plate of Texas barbeque wings at the time of the murder.
Name: Miss Rose Thorne
Gender: Female
Occupation: Professional Dominatrix
History: Sexy met Miss Thorne on a visit to her professional establishment, where they established a quick rapport and have been in consistent professional communication sense. However, Rose Thorne resents Sexy deeply, because he never, ever tips.
AlibiMiss Thorne claims to have been, quote, "enjoying the pleasurable benefits of raising man-eating honey suckle vines" during the day of the murder. Police have been to disturbed to investigate further
Name: Mrs. Subaru Forester
Gender: Female
Occupation: Housewife by day; moonlights in the superhero task team known as the "SUV Rangers"
History: Subaru and Hokuto are sisters, but they have not spoken since Subaru married a mild-mannered reporter who turned out to be the amazing superhero, SUV Red. Still, she lived on happily until Sexy ran over her husband with a tractor.
Name: Mrs. Hokuto Honda
Gender: Female
Occupation: CEO of an automobile manufacturing company which is pretty blatantly a cover for the yakuza
History: Hokuto and Subaru are sisters, but they had a falling-out due to Subaru's choice in husbands. She hired Sexy to kill Subaru's husband. Sexy, however, could not remember whether it was supposed to be Subaru's husband or hers, so he killed them both just to be safe.
Alibi: Both claim to have been visiting their husband's graves on the night of the murder, but thanks to Sexy screwing up the burial plans as an apology, Subaru's husband's grave ended up under the the tallest roller coaster in Six Flags while Hokuto's was located in the ball pin at Chuck E. Cheese's.
Name: Wyld Stallions
Gender: Female
Occupation: Washed-up Rock Starlet
History: Sexy and Wyld were once in a popular (though terrible) punk band together. One tour, she left the hotel room, and came back to find that everyone but Sexy had OD'd on cough syrup and antifreeze. When she confronted him, Sexy merely said, "Oops."
Alibi: Wyld claims to have been tipping cows on the night of the murder. TIPPING THEM HARD. HOOOO. Yes.
You will recieve more clues and evidence in the comments. Good luck.